i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
