what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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