How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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