if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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