1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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