would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
