i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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