What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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