I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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