he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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