they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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