just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
