Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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