Plan B is the new Plan A
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
