Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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