Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
