I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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