so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
