ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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