Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
