I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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