somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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