She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
