i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
