I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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