yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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