i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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