my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
