a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
