I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
