If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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