It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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