i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
