You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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