Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
try to milk me bitch
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