can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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