you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
