At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
