He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
