And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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