No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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