you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have post one night stand depression
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
