Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize