I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
