she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
