New low: just hacked my moms facebook
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
