she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
