Ambien. No doubt about it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
