Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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