Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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