Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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