New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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