His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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