I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
