Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
