He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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