So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
