i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I will be naked everywhere
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
