I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
