It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
