shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
