She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
