i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
