things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
