sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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