Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
